Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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