I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
