girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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