quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
