just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
