Dual....:-)
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
there is puke in my bra ... again
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
