Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
