He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
