Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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