I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
