You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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