Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
