I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
