Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
