I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
vagina is talking i cant
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
