I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
