bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
