All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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