I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
