My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
