R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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