did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
