dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
