so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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