I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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