Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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