Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
