Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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