Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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