if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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