TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
