dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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