think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
