Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
