Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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