so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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