We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
