the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
