I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
