Say something about gay babies.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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