My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
