dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
