whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
