I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
All I want is dick and wine.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
