At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
