I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
