"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
