I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
