I'm going to jail i love you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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