I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He? As in you personified your dick?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
