Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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