its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
