i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
