i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
