they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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