dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
