I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
