Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Randomize