I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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