Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize