He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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