I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
