Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
