Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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