if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Help. Why am I so naked?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
